The Golden Effect

walking on h2o

With the  ambiance of an angel, the first in her league and the first of her kind, did she emerge.

A description of her, just for her, yet not enough.

What a wonder she is.

A human, an envelope of beauty unseen.

As she walked, the wind bowed its head to the Hem of her dress

With her feet oiled and glistening did she expurgate every wasteland

The transformation from dirt to riches

The golden effect of a queen.

Though she is just one, the first of her kind

There will be more and that will be the forever

Golden Effect.

Advertisements

WHAT A KING WANTS FROM HIS QUEEN

To be honest, it would have been a bit selfish to write what a king wants from his queen in my perspectivedownload (5) . So to help us with that a very worthy king was chosen to tell us what a king wants from his queen.

Everyone meet King Daniel Omoloba…

Take it away Daniel…

IMG-20170807-WA0006

 

In as much as getting to know and fully understand the needs and desires of a queen, it is also important for a queen to know what is expected of her by her king. This way there will be a balance and concerted efforts can be made to meet the individual demands of royalty on the part of the king and the queen.

Biblically, we understand that a king is strategically placed and properly positioned to be the head. This does not downplay the role of his queen, neither does it render her insignificant; instead, it clarifies and brings to light the divine leadership structure of the kingdom, and the true picture that all parts of the kingdom are subject to God.

Without drifting away from the topic of discussion, the following are the things a king wants from his queen:

A king wants – A Helpmeet images (18)

“And the Lord God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him.” Gen 2:18 (KJV)

Among the unique abilities of a queen is that of help. A queen is naturally designed to help in the affairs of the kingdom, which is headed by the king. As such, a king wants his queen to be of help to him, to serve as a helpmeet.

From the account of creation, we see that a kings duty are quite enormous, hence, the need for a help-meet is not negotiable. God saw this and assigned a queen to be his help meet. It does not make her his slave or errand girl, but, help-meet; someone who is a companion, and a major pillar in the execution of a project or assignment.

 

A king wants – A Love Receiver   download (10)

“Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;” Eph 5:25 (KJV)

A king is primarily tasked with the responsibility of loving his queen. In this with this, a king wants his queen to be a love receiver. In other words, he wants his queen to receive the love that he gives, not to complain, nag, or compare him with other kings (now I say other kings because a queen knows to want the best in a king because royalty marry only royalty and now we know royalty does not just rest in a blood line but also in character), but, to be contented and receive the love he gives her with sincerity, an open mind, and a grateful heart.

The same way Christ loved the church and expects us to receive the love that he freely gives to us, a king also expects and desires that his queen receives the love that he gives his queen.

  • A King wants – A Submissive Queen images (16)

“Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. Eph 5:22 (KJV)”

Submission is a very vital character trait in the life of a queen. It involves the ability to listen, understand, and act in appreciation of instructions and suggestions given per time. A king is not a superman, which means he cannot do everything and sometimes he will require that his queen takes responsibility for certain assignments or projects.

Therefore, it is important that a queen be submissive enough to listen, understand, and act according to instructions of the king.

 

A King wants – A Wise Queen download

“Every wise woman buildeth her house: but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands. Prov 14:1 (KJV)”

 The scripture above highlights the key requirement of wisdom in a queen. Not just wisdom in its random meaning or definition, but, the wisdom needed in building her kingdom. This goes to say that there are ways to build, there is a how to build, and, there are requirements to build. A king wants his queen to be wise, understand this, and build her kingdom with her own hands, unlike the foolish queen that pulls her kingdom down with her own hands.


So, I’ll stop here and allow the queens around the world to meditate on the need to be a helpmeet, a submissive queen, a love receiver, and a wise queen. Among many things, these are a few things a king wants in his queen.


Thanks Daniel. Now its up to you guys to decide whether you agree with it or not. Hehe.

Please fill free to drop your comments guys. Contributions are welcome. images (1)

Appreciated

appreciation

 

It’s always a hurtful thing when we don’t feel appreciated or loved when we perform a good deed or help out in different ways that we can, especially for people we hold dear to our hearts.

Funny thing is everyone (Like God, our father) loves to be appreciated or acknowledged for a job well done or for a stitch in time that we make, and there is nothing wrong with that. In a small way we are all heroes.

For us to acknowledge the work of others or the effort of friendships or any kind of relationship in our lives, we need to have an increased measure of sensitivity and a heart of gratitude.

These magic words are short, simple to understand and are easy to apply but are not used as often as they should:

  • Thank you, I love you, that’s thoughtful, Please, That’s thoughtful and I appreciate it, you did a great job; keep it up, etc.

As important as words can be, nothing is more proving of your gratitude than your actions.

Actions speak louder than words, you know?

Another way to show that you appreciate someone’s effort in your life is to show a change in behavior.

For example:

All the time, you decide to do things without proper inquiry or information gathering but you have a friend or sibling that is always there, sensitive enough and always watching and looking out for you to ensure you aren’t making a big mistake. Now you realize, every time that person pitched in to help, it made your effort to do something or decision making exercise more successful and productive.

What you should do is say thank you, and change your behavior by thinking more thoroughly when making decisions or even ask questions where you should. Get rid of pride.

When we show appreciation and gratitude, it destroys a prideful habit or behavior in our lives and helps us to give more freely in any way we can.

A heart of gratitude makes you a cheerful giver, a loving helper and a great hero.

If we all were more appreciative of others, we would have a happier atmosphere and more fulfilled people.

This doesn’t mean we should then wait to be appreciated, if God appreciates your heart felt works and efforts, that’s what really matters but do not hesitate to acknowledge a person’s effort of love and assistance in your life. If they are relevant in your life, let them know it.

Let’s read these verses for more clarity. I love you guys.

Ephesians 4:33– Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you (NIV)

Hebrews 10:24-25And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near. (ESV)

 

The Sun is Sad Today

IMG_20170731_101743

How pain could bring tears to the eyes of many

The death of one is the loss of a precious soul; poor Danny

We mourn today for the loss of one so young

The weather is cold, the clouds are heavy and

All of nature has recognized the loss of someone great

The wind blows mildly and the leaves, hardly do they flutter

The skies more moody than gloomy Ruby

With its eyes overflowing with tears

And even the rivers cannot contain the pain

The overflow of pain washing away the sands of the sea shore

Where is our chance to smile today?

Where is the shine of a bright and beautiful day?

Where is the sun?

Is the sun also sad today?

Yes the sun is sad today, but I know he will be up tomorrow

Because, the young one would love us to have a beautiful day

 

 

What a Queen Wants (Part 3)

 

images (3)Now that we know who a queen is…

What does a queen want from a man, that makes him a king?

Before I go further it is only right to emphasize the kind of queen I am talking about is one who loves and respects her God and also her man. A queen that loves God and her man is one who keeps her ways and her heart pure in the sight of God- who sees all and knows all.

A queen deserves a great man, she deserves a King.

What does a queen want?

She wants a King- Leader

images (15)From “What a queen wants- part 2”, we can see that Proverbs 3 doesn’t just talk about who a queen is, but also talks about the King and his characteristics briefly:

Give not thy strength unto women, nor thy ways to that which destroyeth kings.

It is not for kings, O Lemuel, it is not for kings to drink wine; nor for princes strong drink:

Lest they drink, and forget the law, and pervert the judgment of any of the afflicted.

Give strong drink unto him that is ready to perish, and wine unto those that be of heavy hearts.

Let him drink, and forget his poverty, and remember his misery no more.

Open thy mouth for the dumb in the cause of all such as are appointed to destruction.

Open thy mouth, judge righteously, and plead the cause of the poor and needy.

From this text we see that a king is:

  1. Loyal and disciplined.
  2. A king is not one who gives himself to vain pleasures and indecent behavior.
  3. A king is ready to defend people and give help to people that need it without getting anything back in return. A king is a hero.
  4. A King is a responsible leader.
  5. A king most importantly, is a priest in his kingdom.

Taking the angle of a king from the fifth point; a queen wants a priest to the kingdom she governs.

There is so little you can do without God but with God we know that:

  • All things are possible- Matthew 19: 26
  • We can do all things we set our minds to do- Philippians 4:13
  • Our kingdoms and inheritances are protected by God- Exodus 23: 26-29

So a king knows these things and makes sure he does all he can to be in right standing with God and with man.

A king takes care of his family and does not cheat on his family, whether his wife or his children.

Yes it’s possible to cheat on your children by not taking care of them.

She wants a King- Gentleman

queens and kingsA queen wants to have a king who can take care of her. A man is supposed take care of his women, whether they are his mother, sister, classmate, relative etc.

————–If you come across a man that has poor manners beware of him—————-

The way a man treats strangers is also very important because he may be so polite and respectful to you and be terrible to people in public services​ or even fellow drivers on the road. That could be a sign that he is not who he lets outs to be.

A king has a good grip on his manners in private and in public and knows how to make people fill loved, appreciated, respected and most importantly, WANTED. Every queen wants to be wanted by her king.

She wants a King- Sensitive

king loverA queen likes her verbal and most especially, her non-verbal cues to be understood by her king. Nothing hurts a lady more than when her significant other, does not understand what she’s trying to say or not saying.

Funny, isn’t it? Well, that’s the truth; even a queen gets needy of her king sometimes and wants to see how he responds to her attitude or actions. It may be a cry for help or it may be a curiosity to see if “he” really cares. A man that is sensitive is prized very high in the heart of his queen.

A sensitive man is able to identify when his queen is down in her spirit either emotionally, spiritually or mentally. He is able to notice even things she hasn’t noticed herself and guides her through resolving the challenges she may be facing.

She wants a King- Lover

download (10)A queen wants a man who loves her and everything about her, who is not afraid to  correct her when she is wrong.

Love can be hard and it can be sweet. When you correct someone in a hard way it doesn’t mean you stopped loving them, it just shows the level of seriousness attached to the change that needs to be made. A wise queen will love her king for his boldness to encourage her to do the right thing.

 

She wants a King- Humble

king-leaderA queen wants a man that she can talk to without fear or doubt. She wants someone who is honest and calm enough to listen to her when she talks, suggest things to him and tries to advice him. Humility is that trait in any human that makes them to be possess a teachable spirit. A humble man is easy to talk to and he is able to make necessary adjustments to ensure his queen stays happy. You know what they say… “happy wife, happy life”

 

 

She wants a King- Father

king-fatherWhat kind of family exists without a father and mother that love God and love their children? A father is not just a provider for the family but a role model, protector and guide to the children on how they should lead their lives. A father is someone who cares, corrects, is strict but is kind at heart. He is a forward thinking person looking ahead to ensure he plans properly for the well being of his family. Now who doesn’t want a father like that?

There is so much more I could tell you about what queens want, but I believe this has helped to give you an idea on how to set your priorities as a queen and also as a king.

ONE MORE TO GO!!!

In part 4 however, we get to see what a King wants from his Queen. I know the guys will love this one. See you in part 4.

 

What a Queen Wants (Part 2)

queen

Still on the topic of who a queen is; hardly anyone describes her better than King Solomon himself. Yes, he is the King Lemuel referred to in the scripture you will be reading soon. When I read this verse of the Bible among other great verses I have read so far, it makes me examine myself and I get upset with some parts of me that do not reflect what I see in the word of God. But not to worry , God is up to something, so never feel down and out about your  shortcomings.

Once you have identified the problem you can then look for the solution and take steps to solve the problem or problems. Always remember to take each challenge phase by phase, it’s more effective than tackling everything all at once. With God you will get to where you ought to be.

N.B: READ EACH VERSE DILIGENTLY TO UNDERSTAND IT TO THE VERY LAST VERSE :* 

“Proverbs 31:1- 31 ( The Proverbs 31 woman- A queen). 

The words of king Lemuel, the prophecy that his mother taught him.

What, my son? and what, the son of my womb? and what, the son of my vows?

Give not thy strength unto women, nor thy ways to that which destroyeth kings.

It is not for kings, O Lemuel, it is not for kings to drink wine; nor for princes strong drink:

Lest they drink, and forget the law, and pervert the judgment of any of the afflicted.

Give strong drink unto him that is ready to perish, and wine unto those that be of heavy hearts.

Let him drink, and forget his poverty, and remember his misery no more.

Open thy mouth for the dumb in the cause of all such as are appointed to destruction.

Open thy mouth, judge righteously, and plead the cause of the poor and needy.

10 Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies.

11 The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil.

12 She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life.

13 She seeketh wool, and flax, and worketh willingly with her hands.

14 She is like the merchants’ ships; she bringeth her food from afar.

15 She riseth also while it is yet night, and giveth meat to her household, and a portion to her maidens.

16 She considereth a field, and buyeth it: with the fruit of her hands she planteth a vineyard.

17 She girdeth her loins with strength, and strengtheneth her arms.

18 She perceiveth that her merchandise is good: her candle goeth not out by night.

19 She layeth her hands to the spindle, and her hands hold the distaff.

20 She stretcheth out her hand to the poor; yea, she reacheth forth her hands to the needy.

21 She is not afraid of the snow for her household: for all her household are clothed with scarlet.

22 She maketh herself coverings of tapestry; her clothing is silk and purple.

23 Her husband is known in the gates, when he sitteth among the elders of the land.

24 She maketh fine linen, and selleth it; and delivereth girdles unto the merchant.

25 Strength and honour are her clothing; and she shall rejoice in time to come.

26 She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness.

27 She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness.

28 Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her.

29 Many daughters have done virtuously, but thou excellest them all.

30 Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the Lord, she shall be praised.

31 Give her of the fruit of her hands; and let her own works praise her in the gates.

Now you’ve seen the Proverbs 31 woman.

EXERCISE

  1. Get a notepad, identify the characteristics of a queen as stated in the above scripture
  2.  Document your short comings and pray to God telling Him to help you in whatever issues you are having. Remember this ladies, there is no answer for any situation that cannot be found in the Word of God (the Holy Bible), it is our personalised manual for a glorious and victorious life.

God never condemns you and He is always ready to help you, all you need to do is ask and believe Him and He will help you. Feel free to reach out to me if you need to: alerogracy25@gmail.com

Don’t forget to give a comment so I know where you stand.

See you again in part 3.

What A Queen Wants (PART 1)

download (1)

It’s no secret that most girls, if not every girl looks to find her knight in shining armor, someone who can protect her. Someone she can relate with on a deeper level. Someone she can call her friend, someone she can trust and someone she can call her own.

But to be honest having an ownership mentality over someone you claim to love can be really dangerous and selfish.

So to the girls that need to know where to put their priorities and desires and the guys that want to be the best kings they can be, y’all need to read this piece.

First of all I decided to title this article “What a Queen wants” because there are specific characteristics that women must possess to be called Queens. Just for the record, being a queen has its strengths and should not be underestimated by anyone.

A queen is Loyal

A queen is polite

A queen is honest

A queen is humble

A queen is wise

A queen is sensitive and tactical

A queen is loving and logical

A queen is generous and kind

A queen is Godly in all ways

A queen is trust worthy

A queen is patient and active

A queen is strong

A queen is disciplined 

A queen knows how to use what she has to get what she wants and she also knows what she needs, it doesn’t mean a queen is  deceptive or cunning. Wisdom and peace pave the way for a queen to get what she wants and needs.

Being a queen means you have a kingdom to cater for. When we understand as human beings that our lives are connected and have impact on the lives of others, then we live like royalty.

Do you know what a queen is not?

A queen is not NASTY!!! A nasty woman is not a queen. It’s not okay for a man to be nasty but for a woman to be tagged as nasty is worse. Women are care givers and life preservers. Nothing can be nurtured in a hostile environment.

So if you think it’s okay to be mean and rude and just care free because no one has said anything to you. I am telling you now… STOP IT! It’s not nice and it is wrong and it’s definitely not okay.

 

My Lovely Mrs. Todd (Part two)

images (2)

Finally I was done with secondary school and I moved on to the university. I had dreamed of schooling in the University of Ibadan most especially because my siblings had passed through that institution and come out with lovely results and a wealth of knowledge that I didn’t seem to find in most people I met from other institutions. My drawback however, was the extension in years of study due to strike and some other unnecessary delays. I guess this was one of the issues in Nigeria that needed a lot of thought and attention. I should say; the educational system as a whole needed serious re-modeling.

I was in my final year “six years later, for a five year course”, not because I wasn’t serious enough but because of “strike!!”. Anyway, so there I was walking down the streets with my girlfriend then, “Ada” and as I looked up, there she was… Mrs. Todd, not looking a day older, beautiful as ever with her bright skin glowing like she was the queen of England, who had come to grace us with her perfection. Always beautifully dressed she was, and she did look honestly ravishing in her yellow African print outfit; simple but elegant and I gripped Ada’s hand tightly. “Bobby! What’s the problem? Let go, you are squeezing my hand too tight” she complained as she looked with shock and traced my sight to what I was looking at, that made me to stop in my tracks like a Chinese toy. Mrs. Todd was with a friend I think and they were just fifty meters from us. I looked to Ada and smiled, “That is Mrs. Todd”. “Robert is that why you are squeezing my hand? She giggled; you can’t seriously still have a crush on her. She is like thirty or something” she said as she gestured toward Mrs. Todd’s direction.

That’s when I laughed because Mrs. Todd would be in her fifty’s now and she didn’t look her age at all. Telling this to Ada her eyes widened and she looked again. We decided it wouldn’t hurt to say hi to Mrs. Todd. How long it had been, and I could still remember her face so vividly.

Good day ma’am, it’s a great pleasure to run into you on such a beautiful day. I feel like our stars have aligned once again. I said to her with my smile as wide as the Great Wall of China. “Ah we’ve got ourselves a poet o Lillian” she said as she burst into laughter. “But I must say I don’t think we have met young man, I do not remember your face”. Then did I smile because I was proud of whom I was becoming and I knew if I had the chance to talk to Mrs. Todd, she would be proud of the man her troublesome year 8 Bobby was turning out to be and the truth is, Mrs. Todd being my teacher changed my life forever.

“I’m Bobby Adaranijo ma. I was in your class in year 8, ten years ago” I said as I smiled with my thirty-two all out in the open. Thank God I was blessed with good dentition; Ada would have been so embarrassed by me.

images (1)

“Omo mi, how are you. Haa!! You have become a man now o. Lillian meet the Yoruba boy who was named Robert” she said laughing, as she gave me a big hug squeezing me so tightly and I didn’t want her to let go. She introduced me to her friend who was a lecturer in the Arts department and then she paused a bit and smiled as she looked in Ada’s direction “omo dada, tani obirin to lewa to duro ti eyi?” This is Ada, she is my girlfriend. “nice to meet you Ada, your boyfriend was a handful when he was younger, but I could see he wanted to be better, he was just a restless one but we thank God, look at him now. “I thank God for you ma, being in your class, made me focus and want to be better so I could be like Mr. Todd and sweep a beautiful lady off her feet” I said as I stared at Ada jokingly. “Such thoughts in the heart of a child, shey you are seeing this boy Lillian” she said as she laughed.

We spent quite a while talking and Mrs. Todd was open enough to tell me what had happened in the space of eleven years. She had lost her first child to a grave illness and I could remember her child, so beautiful and happy just like her mother. Mrs. Todd had explained how pained her husband was at the loss but they had moved on and had three more children in addition to her second child, Tammy, who was now nineteen years old. She told me how she had left the school when I was in year 9 and gone on to start a camp to educate and train children in morals and good Christian behavior that would help to frame children to be better citizens and her husband (my role model) was the director of three big schools in Lagos. God had been good to her and I was happy I was able to meet her again. I finally confessed to her, how much I liked her and this fired me up to want to be a better person and marry someone just like her, just as Mr. Todd did.

She smiled at the fact that she could be such a model but she was a bit shy. Ada sat there smiling at Mrs. Todd and I could tell she had fallen in love with her too; it was indeed a lovely day for us all.

Now an award winning writer and lecturer, given the opportunity to share my story and speak of my inspiration to become a lecturer, I couldn’t give this narrative without speaking of the impact of Mrs. Todd and her husband on my life. They were real driving forces to my success, though they didn’t know it.

I will conclude with this. You may not know whose life you change or whose heart you touch but just build your life and character in a way that you are giving all the time, giving to the poor, or feeding the minds of the weary or giving hope to the hopeless. You could even make a difference in someone’s life by helping them see meaning in their work or helping them see their lives are just as important as the man next door who has a jet or an apple store, while he has nothing.

Everyone started somewhere and everyone has a story; and this is just a bit out of mine.

Thank you very much.

My Lovely Mrs. Todd (Part One)

IMG_20170621_095214

Growing up in a family of five was an eventful experience, especially being the last child of my parents and the great gap that stood between my sister and I in age made me laugh as I was a beautiful mistake waiting to happen as my eldest brother would say.

I remember my best years were the days I spent as a second year student in the secondary school.

Bobby! Bobby! My mom called out to me one morning, scolding me for my poor behavior in school during lessons. If I wanted to be naughty I would say, “Blame it on privilege and the kids channel”, because as soon as I got to school, my head would be in the clouds. Oh! The wonder I would behold in my head as I flew to oblivion fighting the infinity beast I made up in my head, whose plot was to destroy this beautiful earth I lived in, taking my girl as his hostage just to make me blow my top.

There I was, in cloud 9, about to destroy the infinity beast forever, then I heard her call my name. There she was in her beautiful blue dress, oh that beautiful face of hers, though she wasn’t smiling the funny pout to her lips just made me put out my super white, hero teeth. Bobby! You need to be more attentive, or you will learn nothing. Your attitude in class is just unacceptable and I think it will be best I get you into another class because I certainly do not have the means to keep you here, with us, in this class, for more than 10 minutes. She said as she turned away to the board to continue the lesson. “Oh! Mrs. Todd, if only you knew I was about to save you from the beast who was trying to destroy our love”. Yes Mrs. Todd was my girlfriend although I’m pretty sure she knew nothing about our romantic relationship. Our relationship started way back, when I was in year 5. I saw her walk by me and go straight into the year 8 class, and I just knew she was the one. How could she not be the one? She was perfect. Tall (not minding that I was just a puny little kid), intelligent (not minding my mind was just developing), funny and beautiful. I had to do all I could to ensure I scored high enough to get into her classroom.

She was the class teacher of the high flyers in the year 8 arm, I just had to get my grades up and be consistent, then nothing would be able to separate us ever again. She wasn’t always Mrs. Todd by the way, she used to be Miss Adekunle, but that jealous giant of a man came and swooped away my love with his broad arms and honest reliable personality when I was in year 6. Though I loved her I knew he would take good care of her. I trusted him enough to do so, though he would become my enemy forever.

Here I was finally in Mrs. Todd’s class and the impostor syndrome started to work its nerve on me and all the silliness I thought had wasted away had come back to haunt me, like a ghost from a Scooby doo movie.

I was in the best class in year 8 then and I really didn’t want to lose that opportunity. My mom was proud of me and my sister, Oyinkan had promised to get me anything I wanted if I came out with the first, second or third position in my class. Oyinkan was the best elder sister one could have. She cared so much and did her best all the time; she had so much love to give and wouldn’t spare any expense just to ensure everyone was happy. She was twenty years old then and worked so hard to make sure she didn’t have to depend on anyone and I was proud to be the baby brother of such a true hero to young women.

After the class I walked up to Mrs. Todd and apologized for my poor behavior and promised to do my best and I begged her not to change my class. She obliged my request and forgave me for my poor behavior. Like she had a choice, I was her man.